Naruto : Not Stupid
by Raziel Tepes
Summary: Naruto's mind isn't like other's. He's not a genius, he's not particularly wise, he's not more insane than anyone else, but he does have something more rare than expected, especially in his world : he has common sense. Hey, at least he's not an idiot.
1. Prologue

It was a sunny day in Konoha, as it ever was since everyone knew rain only appeared during funerals, though it never stopped trouble from happening. The Sandaime Hokage knew it very well, which is why he wasn't very surprised when one of his ANBU showed up to bring him bad news.

"Hokage-sama, we have just detained one of the nurses taking care of the Uzumaki toddler, it appears she was regularly letting his head be knocked around, the damage was minimal and he should be able to recover from it but if it had happened much longer it could have had lasting consequences. After interrogation, she declared and I quote 'I might not be able to tell anyone or get rid of it for good, but I don't see a problem with turning that demon into a bumbling fool', what should be done to her?"

"Check if she hasn't done any other harm to the baby and if she is aware of any happening from other nurses and then silence her", was the Hokage's order.

After the ANBU left to do as ordered, the old man sighed and considered the situation. It had only been three months since the defeat of the Kyuubi no Kitsune and the death of the Yondaime Hokage but it seemed the anger and fear from the attack of the demon were still growing strong. Sure, the damage and the loss were rather heavy but they had prevented the beast from reaching the village itself, the ninja who gave their life fighting against the demon to stall for Minato to make it to the beast had ensured that.

Normally, he would have kept the existence of the container a secret as it had been since their alliance with Uzushio, but it had been Minato's wish for the child to be seen as the village's hero. He owed his successor enough that he would respect his last words and so did the village. So, why? Why did the villagers, after following the Hokage's will for so many years, have to start questioning their decisions now of all times?

Their irrational anger almost made him lose his faith in the village, but no, it was his duty to protect them even if it was from themselves, he would have revealed the parentage of the child and it would have definitely appeased them if the consequences wouldn't have been so much worse. The death of the Hokage and of so many competent ninja had severely weakened them and if Minato's enemies heard of the existence of his son they wouldn't hesitate to start a war just to erase the threat of his lineage, particularly at such a weakened period.

No, even though the situation was unpleasant in more ways than one, at least he could deal with internal affairs, external ones not so much. And so he declared threats against the boy's life as punishable by death, and to ensure the parents wouldn't poison their children with their hatred when at such a susceptible age, he forbid them from revealing what happened to the Kyuubi to those unaware of the law in question.

Hopefully, with time the feelings of the adults would cool off and the children would be more reasonable

**Author's note** : Yep, here's a new story which I'm sure won't make you very confident considering my history with those, still at least I matured, right? And I mostly got tired of those stories because I was putting in some ridiculous clichés, they were fun but not really thought out, that and dumbass Naruto was getting on my nerves not to mention Itachi who wasted his brother's life out of love considering what he did to him was worse than just killing him which would have been a mercy. Tell him to focus on hatred and vengeance you dumb genius, would you? That's going to make him feel so much better, right? Anyway, it's this kind of behavior from the Narutoverse characters that pushed me to do this kind of story, this way maybe I'll stop wondering what kind of mental disorder they all have, because seeing Naruto's abnormal behavior the one thing he's not is sane, at least you can understand why Sasuke went mad considering his trauma and how Itachi kept making it worse.


	2. Growing up not stupid

He was getting sick of this. He wasn't blind; he could see all the stares with dark intent behind them. He wasn't deaf; he could hear them whisper when he was out of sight. He was 6, not stupid. There was something wrong. He had never really noticed before since he only interacted with Hokage-jiji and the matron at the orphanage. Sure, the matron was a bit distant with him and for some reason he could only see the other children when eating but Jiji was always smiling and being nice to him. But for some reason, once he had learned basic mathematics and how to read and write the matron told him he didn't need to stay anymore and kicked him out.

He found himself on the street, confused and with no idea what to do since the matron wouldn't open the door and then wandering the streets with adults around him giving him weird looks. He was like that for an hour before Jiji found him and brought him to his new apartment while explaining to him how he would have to live on his own from now on. He also offered him to join the ninja academy a few years later when it started and would even let him start the academy two years earlier than usual since he would most likely have nothing better to do.

He was relieved he had somewhere to go back to at least and apparently orphan funds that would let him buy food and stuff, but he still had to go outside to do it. Outside where grown-ups gave him bad looks and children wouldn't play with him because their parents told them he was an orphan and so was dirty. Outside was scary.

When he asked Jiji if he could have parents so children would also play with him, Jiji made a strange face and looked scary because he wasn't smiling anymore. Jiji reassured him he wasn't mad at him just because he wasn't smiling but that he made that face because he was sad for him and smiled to him to make him feel better. Seeing Jiji's smiling face made him smile too, if he smiled to the frowning people would they smile back too? Tried it, didn't work. And too hard to keep smiling when not happy, useless too so gave up.

Hard to buy things too, and expensive, seems like they always forget to add a zero to the price, some places wouldn't let him enter, too small or something, some stuff he couldn't buy because it was apparently reserved for someone else. Some places serving food let him but the atmosphere was scary so he left as soon as possible. He was 6, not stupid.

There was obviously something wrong. No one liked him except Jiji. Apparently being an orphan is bad. He didn't understand why. Are adults stupid? Is that why Jiji is Hokage? Because he's not stupid? Maybe he would make a good Hokage when he grew up then.

* * *

><p>Adults were extra scary today, so he stayed home. Jiji brought food, and cake and gifts. He got a dictionary because he was bad with some words and story books for fun. Apparently he was 7 today, and people celebrated anniversaries. When asked if the adults were mad because of his birthday, Jiji said they were sad because previous Hokage died same day. Makes sense, though why were the grown-ups mad at him then? Did they think he killed the Yondaime or something? Weird.<p>

* * *

><p>A new Ramen stand opened recently, they were surprisingly nice. And food was very good for once. Food always tastes better with smiling people. Seems like they didn't know he was an orphan or that he killed the Yondaime. He certainly wasn't going to tell them.<p>

* * *

><p>It was his first year at the ninja academy; the kids there were older, taller and didn't like him. It was during the history lesson he found out the truth. Why nearly everyone hated him. It made sense why some drunks had called him a demon or a bloody fox now. He had thought they were just crazy before but now it all made sense.<p>

He couldn't have parents and Jiji wouldn't explain why because he never had any. His birthday was the same day the Yondaime died and the Kyuubi disappeared for the same reason. And it also explained why he looked like a younger Yondaime, the obvious resemblance always seemed weird to him. The Kyuubi hadn't really died because he was still around so something else had happened, putting things together it started to make more sense: every adult knew him as the Kyuubi, the children didn't know for some reason, he looked like the Yondaime, he had killed the Yondaime, the Kyuubi was stupid since it did nothing but destroy, the Yondaime wasn't stupid since he was Hokage after all, and he himself wasn't stupid so the only explanation that made sense was that the Yondaime somehow trapped the Kyuubi in his own body, sacrificed himself to give the Kyuubi his intelligence and de-aged his body to erase the Kyuubi's memories which all resulted in a newborn Naruto.

Well damn, he was kind of confused about how the Yondaime managed all that but if he could make a giant angry fox disappear he obviously could do anything, as expected from the Hokage. Still that didn't explain why. Maybe since the Hokage are not stupid and Jiji is nice, the Yondaime was being nice to the Kyuubi? Though he was kind of confused with the way he went about it, since he wasn't a giant angry stupid fox, he wasn't going to complain with the result.

Jiji obviously knew about this and he doesn't hold it against me so maybe he's trying to give me a second chance and is encouraging me by being nice to me? It sure makes more sense than the other grownups being mean to me when I would only be angry at them later, though this is why he's Hokage and they aren't. So it's not their fault if they're stupid, but since I'm better than them I shouldn't hold it against them.

Lost in his reflection, he didn't really notice the time passing and the teachers were more than happy to just ignore him. So as the school was ending and he was focused on proving Jiji right, he went straight home to do some research on the special type of fox the Kyuubi was, a Kitsune. His dictionary described them as powerful and intelligent foxes with different number of tails by power, the more tails the more powerful, and the ones with nine tails were the most powerful of them. They were also creatures that liked to deceive and trick others; the benevolent ones also enjoyed taking the appearance of beautiful women to seduce mortals and were well known for being pranksters. They also had a method of attack unique to their species, the control of Kitsune-bi also known as fox fire.

With further research, he understood that deception meant lying and hiding information, considering the academy was telling lies for history lessons and Jiji hid the truth from him, he deduced it was a skill important to ninja and that civilians obviously sucked at it, so it would only be a point in his favor to get better at it. Tricks were also a specialty of ninja, just look at the three basic jutsu they were told about at the academy, pranks sounded like a lot of fun and he couldn't wait to learn the Henge.

He would definitely prove to Hokage-jiji he was a good Kitsune!

**Author's note:** well here goes to show why you shouldn't try to hide badly kept secrets from children^^ This chapter was a lot of fun to write this way. A bit of trivia for those who don't know, in the canon prototype of Naruto, he was actually the child of the Kyuubi no Kitsune and after the old man killed it he spared the baby who later grew up determined to prove he was a good Kitsune to the other villagers who didn't trust him^^ Well, this is more of a continuation to the prologue, but here we are.


	3. The advantages of not being stupid

I forgot the disclaimer, so here it is. Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto and obviously not me. I don't make any money from the ads that show up above sometimes either. I do own Naruto's common sense though, or is it the other way around?

Chapter 2: The advantages of not being stupid (even when life has dealt you a bad hand)

He was 10 now. He had grown in many ways since he found a goal to strive for. He made some mistakes at first but they were just one more lesson to grow from to get much better. The ninja academy's lessons gave him some important clues about how to deceive and be tricky. Theory really was important to know so he could put it in action correctly. That was how he learnt that to achieve anything he needed information and that started with observation.

For example one of the teachers who kept trying to sabotage him during lessons so he wouldn't learn anything always crushed spiders as soon as he saw them. The reason was obviously because he didn't like them and probably was afraid of them. So he tailed him one day with judicious use of Henge into a cat and found where he lived, conveniently alone and so had a good idea for his plan.

Thus, he spent his free time over the course of one week catching various spiders in the nearby forest. Then, once he had gathered enough of them he intruded the teacher's home while he was away and slipped soporifics in a used bottle of water in the kitchen and then left the house without leaving anything amiss. He still found the utter lack of security in a chuunin's house ridiculous but he wasn't going to complain about his target's carelessness and made a clean escape, well except for the masked people working for Jiji who weren't as discrete as they thought, though that was mostly because he learnt how to recognize their presence after some reckless pranks, and it wasn't the first time they let him get away with a prank if he was smart about it and didn't do something particularly dangerous.

To conclude the prank, he waited for night to fall, the light to be shut off and waited for an hour. Once it was sufficiently late he intruded the house silently, went to the bedroom, made sure his target was deeply asleep, released the many dozen of spiders and made a clean get away.

The following day, he learnt the teacher was replaced because he had a nervous breakdown and needed to take a break. He honestly thought the teacher was being a pansy, if the chuunin had realized he could have been poisoned, stung by a venomous spider which he hadn't caught any since for one birthday Jiji had given him a book describing poisonous animal and plants, or just been killed in his sleep, then he would have deserved a nervous breakdown. But since he was one of the stupid people being mean to him, the thought probably hadn't crossed his mind and he should consider himself lucky that he annoyed a good Kitsune and not a bad one; with some luck maybe the substitute teacher wouldn't be so obviously stupid.

Since being known as a prankster would be more trouble than it was worth, he usually made sure he wouldn't get caught, though he would have liked to gloat about it he felt much better when he got away with it. Of course they usually suspected him anyway but it wasn't like they had any proof to punish him, most students knew there was a mysterious prankster among them which made him unexpectedly popular but he doubted the popularity would have remained long if they knew he was the one responsible. He usually just relieved his frustration by asking questions in class that the teacher wouldn't usually know the answered or had never really considered. He would have liked an answer to whatever the heck there was outside the Elemental Countries though.

The scheming part of his pranks was good training to learn how to think like a Kitsune and by extension like a ninja, though he was a bit conflicted with his progress at the academy jutsu, Kawarimi was rather easy to learn and use, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't manage to produce a decent Bunshin at least he felt quite proud with his Henge which had come easily to him for obvious reasons and had mastered its use quite thoroughly.

The transformation technique was a lot more useful than first expected, with the academy teaching them how to use it to pretend being anyone, he learnt on his own how to transform in a feminine version of himself but considering the obvious resemblance he would be caught pretty early. With further reflection, while looking like someone else might be useful for a while, he could also get caught by someone knowing the person better or something of the kind and then he would be busted. No, considering he learnt how to use Henge to look like an animal or even an inanimate object which had a lot more potential than most ninja seemed to imagine, imagination being a trait they lacked in spades, it would be less risky to make up a completely unknown person with no relation to anyone else.

So, thinking like the Kitsune he was, he settled on taking the appearance of a cute but not eye-catching brunette so she could avoid too much attention when needed, with a shy but kind personality so she could be liked but not expected to talk too much and she could have time to think before speaking to avoid letting anything slip, but no stutter since that would be annoying in the long term for all involved. She would be an orphan with no last name to avoid anyone looking into her nonexistent relatives and a civilian since no ninja official would be aware of her existence and also because she couldn't be in two places at once anyway. He came up with the name Kahou which meant lucky, good fortune or happy and when asked about the name she would say she was named that way by a nurse because she was lucky to have survived in the Kyuubi devastation, which would make the other person sympathize with her and would only be in her advantage.

And so in his free time, Kahou was more than happy to walk the streets in peace and was pleasantly surprised to see the villagers just talking animatedly with each other or laughing with their families, this was an aspect of the villagers she wasn't really used to and didn't really know how to feel about. In more practical endeavors, she could finally shop for reasonable prices and sometimes even got bargains while being complimented for her gentle nature, in these situations she was quite glad to be skilled in the art of deception or she would have difficulty keeping a straight face when smiling back gently.

Of course the ANBU, as Jiji called them weren't fooled by his act since they were always tailing him anyway but at least didn't get in his way, though it was good to know Hokage-jiji wasn't the only sensible one in the village and that the others of the same kind apparently joined ANBU. As for the higher ranked ninja or the merchants supplying ninja tools, they just assumed she was training to be a kunoichi, though she made sure to avoid the chuunin instructors when she saw them just in case. Now she could even access the civilian library, though since she preferred not to fake an ID to avoid unnecessary trouble she couldn't borrow any books. At least she made good use of her time there to learn basic information no one ever taught them at the academy but it seemed most children were told by their families when it comes up, so she could at last appease her curiosity about those kinds of things.

Knowledge was power, and she was less likely to arouse suspicion than if she wasn't aware of something when everyone else was supposed to be. Which is why he sometimes lazed about as a cat near gossiping women; he learnt some unexpected but usually useful information that way, those women talked about all kinds of things and gossip could also be used as a topic of conversation for her cover anyway, so no loss there if she ever needed material to change the subject when asked uncomfortable questions and it also helped to think like a woman after all.

* * *

><p>It was during one of her walks that Kahou came up to two girls her age, one with pink hair crying and a blonde one comforting her, she distantly remembered seeing them at the academy in a lower grade.<p>

"Is there something wrong?" She asked once she reached them.

"Did you come to mock my forehead like the others?" The pink girl glared at her.

"You know, before you mentioned it I actually didn't notice it, I guess it is a bigger forehead than usual, personally I find your pink hair weirder." She answered dryly.

"Hey! There's nothing wrong with my hair! What did I do to you?" The girl replied indignantly.

"You're the one who assumed I go around insulting others." She pointed out.

"Oh. Sorry." The girl looked chastised. "The other girls just keep mocking me and who are you? I don't remember seeing you in kunoichi classes before."

"You know, the polite thing to do is to present yourself first." She reminded them.

"Ah, I'm sorry. I'm Haruno Sakura." The pink girl said.

"And I'm Yamanaka Ino." The blonde girl added.

"I'm Kahou and you wouldn't have seen me there since I don't have an interest in being a ninja." She explained to them.

"Just Kahou? And why wouldn't you want to be a ninja? It's so cool and they can do so many things!" Ino asked her in surprise.

"The same reason actually, I don't have a last name because my parents were most likely ninja and were killed fighting the Kyuubi, my identification was lost in that mess so I have no idea who they were. If I ever have any kids I would rather not leave them alone. Hmm, are you alright?" She asked once she saw the troubled faces they were making.

"It's just that my parents told me to avoid that Naruto kid because he's an orphan." Sakura explained hesitantly.

"Right, because losing my parents was such a crime I shouldn't have any friends." She replied, rolling her eyes. "Just because there's nothing proud about being an orphan doesn't mean I have any reason to be ashamed of it, kind of like your forehead actually, anyone being mean about things that can't be helped doesn't deserve to be called a friend anyway. And those that mock others are usually just trying to make themselves look better because they have something they feel ashamed of, like their bad personality for example, you really shouldn't listen to bullies."

"Well, you've certainly got a point there. And you know Sakura, just because your forehead is big doesn't mean it's ugly, if you're confident about it they'll give up mocking you because you won't look weak anymore. Anyway, want to have some fun girls?" Ino asked them.

"Sure!" Kahou grinned happily, followed by Sakura.

Sure, they didn't know the real him but since it wasn't like Naruto was his real body in the first place because of the Yondaime, it didn't mean his Kahou mask was any more fake. They would probably never meet the real him, but it wouldn't prevent them from knowing the real her

**Author****'****s****note:** btw, before some of you run away screaming, fem!Naruto won't be a permanent feature just an occasionally reoccurring one. And if you look at the summary, I never said he would be completely sane, despite all his quirks I think he's still more sane than cannon Naruto^^ All high level ninja have some serious issues this will be his, or hers^^ That's better than cannon Naruto unable to see reality when it's punching him in the face or throwing a Chidori through his torso. Besides, the ones who will be more confused about their sexuality won't be him, but those she meets and actually feel attracted to her lol, no matter which gender they are either, she won't mind flirting with other girls in girl form, confusing the hell out of them will make it more fun for her after all^^ Just keep in mind if he flirts with other guys in boy form it will only be to mess with them though. I'm not into Yaoi after all.


	4. Stupid fangirls

Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto and obviously not me. I don't make any money from the ads that show up above sometimes either. I do own Naruto's common sense though, and probably Kahou too if that counts.

Chapter 3: Stupid fangirls

Kahou had just spent what she felt were the happiest months of her life, whenever he had free time after the academy she would meet up with Sakura and Ino to play, gossip, go shopping and just having fun. Of course, it couldn't last forever. Something finally came up; which never failed to make most girls lose all kinds of good sense: a bad boy. A brooding pretty boy with a tragic past at that. Uchiha 'Emo' Sasuke. He was the wet dream of perverted old men everywhere, though that was probably just her bitterness at the situation happening in front of her eyes talking.

"He would definitely look better with me!" Sakura exclaimed.

"Kahou-chan! Tell her who he would look better with!" Ino requested.

"Well, if I have to be honest there is one who comes to mind: slender arms, pale eyes, long black hair that's obviously well-cared for, who doesn't talk much, is often brooding, one year older so more mature and very good at Taijutsu." Kahou admitted slyly.

"Oh… I didn't know there was such competition. Who is it?" Ino asked.

"Neji." She deadpanned.

"Neji… Hey! Isn't that the Hyuuga guy in the grade above us?" Sakura quickly recognized.

"Oi! Kahou! How would he look any better any better with Sasuke? That's not funny!" Ino protested vehemently.

"Just picture this: Sasuke looking sad on his lonesome when this guy who understands him better than anyone comes to him and talks to him. Sasuke is moved by Neji's words and accepts the comforting arms around him and just melts when Neji starts biting his ear gently and so doesn't protest when he's pushed down and they start taking each other's clothes off…" She described with a sultry voice.

"Stop! Stop making me imagine it! I didn't know you were so rotten!" Ino interrupted with a flushed face.

"I'm not the one with a nosebleed and Pinkie-chan doesn't seem to be hearing you." She pointed out dryly.

"Oi! Sakura! Wake up already!" Ino shook Sakura back to the real world.

"So, seriously now, who do you think he would like more?" Ino asked after having calmed down significantly.

"Well, considering his lack of personality I would say someone who doesn't talk much and just agrees to spread her legs whenever he wants. Hey! Maybe I should get him a Dutch wife for his birthday!" She replied with an annoyed face.

"Geez Kahou-chan, what's your problem with Sasuke? He looks so lonely, I'm sure a true woman would make him happy!" Ino complained.

"That's obviously your maternal instincts talking and that guy is always brooding, if he ever actually fell in love he would have no idea what to do and would just stalk you, watch you sleep without you knowing, order you around, be an all-around control freak, not let you do anything dangerous because he would see you as so much weaker than himself and thus would need a girl with the personality of a doormat to actually be able to stand him. Well, at least he doesn't sparkle in the sunlight." She blurted out.

"Huh?" Sakura and Ino both said, confused and disturbed.

"Sorry, my bad." She said regretfully. "I must still be traumatized by that crappy series of books I read. It didn't take me long to realize how bad they were, but it was like watching a deer be devoured alive by a swarm of bugs, no matter how more horrible it kept getting, there was this morbid fascination that just wouldn't let you look away. I begged the librarian to burn those books or at least seal them away since they were probably cursed but she wouldn't take it seriously." She explained with a look of resigned horror.

"Ah! Whatever! I won't let you get Sasuke, we're rivals from now on!" Sakura declared.

"Fine with me! I'll always be better than you, so keep dreaming!" Ino replied in kind.

"You two… to fight because of something so ridiculous…" She said, looking at them with cold eyes. "I guess this is all friendship means to you. We're only 10, Sasuke most likely doesn't care about girls yet and I doubt that will change anytime soon, after all girls mature faster than boys and he's lost in his brooding. Go enjoy achieving nothing all alone. Though one last piece of advice from me, since it seems like I was the only one who valued this friendship. If he doesn't show any interest in either of you when he's older, try offering him a well-cooked steak of pork with a delicate petal of Sakura on top to make it even more appetizing, if this delicious dish doesn't arouse his interest then he's definitely into chocolate." She gave her parting words and when they finally puzzled out her meaning she was long gone.

He was depressed for a while after this, but he didn't want to turn into a brooding idiot like Sasuke so he eventually recovered. He had to resign himself, the kind girls she knew were probably long gone in this terrible affliction that struck them and made them take leave of their good sense, such horrible beings they are to make all trace of her friends disappear, these fangirls.

**Author****'****s ****note:** Well, I just wanted to relate their separation and start on Naruto's last year at the academy but Sasuke jokes just kept coming out of nowhere, so here we are. Sorry about the Yaoi scene, but it was just so hilarious I couldn't help myself. I just hope this won't start a Neji/Sasuke trend there's enough Yaoi rotting the site and fangirls' brains around.


	5. Clan Jutsu sure aren't stupid

Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto and obviously not me. I don't make any money from the ads that show up above sometimes either. I do own Naruto's common sense though, and probably Kahou too if that counts.

Chapter 4: Clan Jutsu sure aren't stupid

He was still at the academy despite failing to graduate twice. He was starting to get rather frustrated, he might be lagging behind the others because of his grades, but that was only because of the usual sabotages and his failing grades at producing a Bunshin, all things considered he was average because he had nothing special compared to clan children who all had family jutsu to support them.

And considering the limitations to evaluate him during fights, he couldn't really put his skill at Henge or shrewd mind to good use. With no cover, there was no way he could trick his opponents in any way, sure he had brute force and some unexpected moves but he was no match for those skilled at Taijutsu. He just failed at Genjutsu in general and there was only so much he could do with Kawarimi so, he was pretty much dead last.

Still, if it wasn't for those damned useless Bunshin he would have graduated long ago. The first time couldn't be helped, though he certainly argued about it, the second time he blackmailed some students to pose as him under a Henge and show up under Kawarimi while he did the jutsu but he got caught and even his backup plan that they would at least be impressed with his ruse just failed.

He had one more year to fix his Bunshin, come up with a new idea or just plain blackmail the instructors if he wanted to graduate now. Which was going to be tough considering Iruka was fair, though at least Mizuki seemed kind of suspicious.

Well, at least for once every other student was his age though he was kind of confused why all the clan heads somehow decided to have children in the same period. He could understand for the Ino-Shika-Cho trio of parents since they were a famous team and would want to reproduce their success in their children but all the others just confused him.

Still, those were all children from clans who survived the Three Ninja Wars, so their family jutsu had to be rather effective and that experience could only be useful for him to adapt in his ninja skills though not all were compatible with his abilities. The Yamanaka, Nara and Uchiha were right out since there was no way in hell he could figure out a way to reproduce their effects, Aburame just wasn't safe, he could Henge into a single insect but he didn't feel like getting squished so no way either and he couldn't imitate the Hyuuga's Byakugan abilities though sending chakra into internal organs sounded interesting. The Akamichi had some potential though using Henge into a larger form took a lot of chakra and tired him out pretty fast not to mention just enlarging some body parts totally ruined his sense of balance, though that prank he did on the nurse during physical examination was a riot.

The most useful one was definitely the Inuzuka. Taking animal-like aspects and incorporating them into his Taijutsu had a great deal of potential and could be adapted into all kinds of ways thanks to his Henge. Combined with Akamichi resizing, he had plenty of ideas though he would have to train using his new ideas before he could try those out during Taijutsu matches.

In the meanwhile, he kept busy during classes by trying to befriend the clan heirs, considering they would most likely grow up to become clan heads in time it could only be to his advantage; while his other classmates had no particular skill and no personality so they might as well be faceless. Uchiha Sasuke was too annoying, the less said about Yamanaka Ino and Haruno Sakura the better, Aburame Shino was an interesting guy to discuss with though his way of speaking felt like waiting for a punch line, Inuzuka Kiba was a cool guy to have fun with though he was kind of cocky and Nara Shikamaru and Akamichi Choji were calm guys perfect to chill out with.

The most complicated one was Hyuuga Hinata, at first he was worried she would snob him like her cousin Neji or like Sasuke since having a stick up the ass was apparently the default personality for those in noble clans like the Hyuuga or Uchiha but since she was acting weird and not cold like them it didn't seem to fit. Considering she was pretty much the only girl who didn't turn into a fangirl because of Sasuke she definitely attracted his attention for actually being sensible, which is why he was determined to figure her out. That and he didn't want to rule out girls as being too stupid to live.

The way she reacted around him compared to others was the most confusing, at first it seemed like she was afraid of him but someone scared wouldn't glance in his direction every now and then or would at least try to avoid him as much as possible. She was obviously shy but the way she fainted after talking to him for nearly a minute was just ridiculous, it was only when he remembered the way he acted whenever Hokage-jiji did something particularly awesome did he realize what was going on. She actually admired him, which in the end was even more confusing. Well, he wasn't going to complain about having a fan but he wanted to know even more just what she was thinking, though he had to admit he would have to take his time to get closer to her.

* * *

><p>Well, he was right. It took him nearly a month to desensitize her to his presence by sitting close to her during classes and having short and occasional talks. She was still stuttering quite often but at least she wasn't fainting anymore, so that was definite progress. It took him another week for her to be open enough and confess to what drew her attention to him, it turned out she admired his determination to keep going despite facing all kinds of adversity and her wish to have the same confidence.<p>

He certainly felt quite flattered at that moment and explained to her that despite appearances he wasn't quite so invincible and wouldn't be able to act the way he did if he didn't have Jiji to support him. After she lamented the fact she didn't have anyone to support her that way, not even in her family, he offered to give her his support. While he sweat dropped and waited for her to return to consciousness, he smiled and felt happy to know that at least this year promised to be interesting.

**Author****'****s****note:**Well, the chapter is finally here. Sorry that I share the same habits than gabriel blessing of wasting time in games and anime though I don't really have his writing speed and skills, lol. So, next time we'll finally catch up to canon start and the chapters should start getting reasonably longer. If more people would drop a comment about what they think of this story or any advice about my writing style it would be greatly appreciated, I was expecting someone would comment about the fact Naruto was in a different grade from the rest despite him being shown with the others during flashbacks already, it's hard to stay motivated if I think no one really cares about my story. And that's it for the emotional blackmail, see ya later you nameless readers out there^^


	6. Mizuki is so stupid

Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto and obviously not me. I don't make any money from the ads that show up above sometimes either. I do own Naruto's common sense though, and probably Kahou too if that counts.

Chapter 5: Mizuki is so stupid

It was an interesting year, Naruto mused quietly while watching the academy graduates being congratulated by their parents, he had gotten so much better at Henge he didn't need hand seals anymore or even produced smoke from the jutsu. Of course, no matter how good he got at the Henge they still wouldn't admit him as a Genin. Although he did learn how to send chakra with his punches thanks to Hinata, it was hardly refined but it worked at least.

He had made no progress with the Bunshin, even with Hinata's help, and he had no luck in finding blackmail material on the instructors either. Still considering the required academy jutsu to graduate was chosen randomly there was no way they were going to ask for the same jutsu three years in a row, right? Hinata was so disappointed for him too…

Bloody Mist was called that way for a reason, Cloud left some bad memories for Hinata, Stone had something against blue-eyed blondes, minor countries were too weak to even matter, so that pretty much left Sand. Sand was also technically allied to the Leaf so they shouldn't have anything against someone from the Leaf trying to join their ranks, right?

"Naruto?" Mizuki suddenly called for him.

"Yes, Sensei?" Naruto humored him, since he just remembered where the guy hid his own money while he was watching him for blackmail material and he knew he was going to need funds to start a new life anyway.

"Don't think too badly of Iruka, he lost his parents when he was young and had to raise himself, that's probably why he sees himself in you and wishes you would try to be better." Mizuki explained.

"Yeah, but it's not like I didn't actually try everything I could to make a Bunshin, I just can't make one so that's not going to help me graduate." Naruto bit out, annoyed by this excuse.

"Then why don't I tell you a special secret?" Mizuki suggested.

* * *

><p>Well, that was interesting. Although he wondered who Mizuki was trying to fool, as if he was going to trust him blindly like an idiot just because he was acting nice for once after a year of cold treatment. If there was another option to graduate, he would have been told the first two times he failed the academy exam. He had to concede that a practical exam would make sense though, so of course the academy wasn't going to come up with that and stealing a suspicious dangerously named scroll from the Hokage was really pushing it too.<p>

He pretended to agree with him to avoid suspicion but he had to seriously consider the situation. Just selling Mizuki out wouldn't bring him anything and he had no solid proof, so he would have to make sure the traitor got caught red-handed. That and with Mizuki being so interested with that particular scroll the jutsu inside would definitely have to be interesting so he wasn't going to miss such an opportunity. Afterwards he could always pretend he got tricked into it, adults have this convenient way of underestimating children after all, so he might as well take advantage of it.

So that night while he pretended to sleep in bed to try and fool the ANBU, he made sure to leave his shape in the bed and then transformed into a fly and escaped through the open window. Of course, he still got caught by Jiji when he made it to his destination so he went and transformed into a mature and naked lady.

"Hey there, how's it hanging big guy?" She asked seductively.

She knew the old man hadn't gotten any in a while considering his age but she sweat dropped when she saw the amount of blood he just leaked, she promptly dropped the Henge and he went to proceed with his plan. So he looked for and took the Scroll of forbidden jutsu, took a book that looked interesting, wrote a note and left.

After reaching a secure place, he opened the scroll and looked through its contents; the first technique was Kage Bunshin which created solid clones, and the rest were basically techniques which were lethal to the users or too complicated, not compatible, not practical or just too damn impossible. He would have preferred something else than a Bunshin but it seemed different than the one from the academy and the idea of solid clones had just too much potential so he would definitely try at least.

It took him long hours of harsh work but he finally managed to succeed much to his relief and joy, thus after he made sure he was proficient enough with it he sat down exhausted and killed time by reading the book he found.

* * *

><p>It was around the same time that the Hokage recovered consciousness, discovered what happened, called for an emergency summoning of the ninja still within the village and started reading the note left behind by Naruto.<p>

"IOU a scroll from which I'll learn whatever jutsu I can so you can finally let me graduate like he promised I would if I succeeded plus a book that looked interesting because I felt like it.

PS: You really should be more careful with yourself Jiji, losing that much blood can't be healthy. Also, being defeated in such a ridiculous manner by an academy student who failed to graduate thrice is kinda lame."

"Geez Naruto…" he sighed. " Wait, book? Just what… No! My Come Come Paradise! NARUTO!"

And so the Hokage sent his ninja to look for Naruto while warning his ANBU that someone put him up to it and that they should keep an eye on the rest of them for a possible traitor. In the meantime Naruto's sense of sexuality got even more messed up.

* * *

><p>"I've found you Naruto… Wait, what the hell are you reading?" Iruka yelled at Naruto when he finally found him.<p>

"Hey Iruka-sensei, I didn't expect to see you here. I'm killing some time while I wait for Mizuki-sensei to finally come here for the scroll." Naruto avoided the subject while he waited to see Iruka's reaction to the news so he would know if he was in on it or not.

"Mizuki?" Iruka wondered before he suddenly pushed Naruto out of the way and got riddled with kunai which pretty much answered Naruto's question.

"So that's what's going on. Naruto, no matter what, don't give him the scroll. It contains forbidden jutsu that shouldn't get in the hands of dangerous people." Iruka explained, or more accurately confirmed, to Naruto.

"Never mind that Naruto, aren't you interested in knowing why everyone hates you?" Mizuki tried to change the subject.

"No! Stop it Mizuki! You have no right to speak of this!" Iruka tried to stop him to no avail.

"Twelve years ago when the demon fox was defeated, a special rule was created for this village. A rule never meant to be revealed to you! Don't you want to know?" Mizuki ignored Iruka and taunted Naruto.

"I'm guessing it has something to do with me being the demon fox? " Naruto drawled at him.

"What? How did you know?" Mizuki yelled while Iruka looked surprised.

"Seriously? That's like the worst kept secret ever! Of course, I figured it out! You people are hardly discrete! Did you seriously think I wouldn't wonder why people I never met before just despised me for no reason? Especially with all the clues around? Are you that stupid?" Naruto blurted out of frustration at the sheer stupidity.

"No Naruto! That's not the truth! The demon fox was just sealed into you after you were born not whatever you are thinking!" Iruka revealed which actually shocked Naruto.

"Are… are you serious? Please don't lie to me!" Naruto pleaded, looking lost.

"I swear that's the truth! The Kyuubi killed my parents! I wouldn't lie about something like that!" Iruka confirmed.

Naruto had to think for a moment, if that was the truth then this changed things greatly. It meant that the villagers were just using him as a scapegoat for their hatred, before it felt awful but at least it was understandable. Now it meant that those foolishly stupid idiots were just dumping it all on the next closest thing available to them! A child at that! In a slight unrelated manner, better not ever mention the way he saw Kitsune as role models, it probably wouldn't go over well. That aside, first things first.

"You complete moron! Do you have any idea how many years I spent feeling guilty for no reason because of people like you who can't think straight? Here's my gratitude for your stupid scheme Kage Bunshin no jutsu!" Naruto yelled at Mizuki out of anger.

Three Naruto promptly appeared out of nowhere, two to each side of Mizuki transforming into tentacle monsters who quickly ensnared him and the third just in front of the traitor immediately sending chakra courtesy of a punch to Mizuki's navel causing him to cough blood, disturb his chakra flow for a while since he hit around the area chakra is produced and that couldn't be missed even without the Byakugan and finally sending him into unconsciousness.

"Naruto, come over here, there's something I want to give you" Iruka requested, impressed by Naruto's use of Kage Bunshin though also slightly disturbed by the tentacles.

"Congratulations on graduating!" Iruka declared then, putting his hitai-ate on Naruto's forehead.

"Gyyyaaaahh!" Mizuki's scream interrupted Naruto's celebration.

It appeared the tentacle monsters had gotten bored and inflicted their 'attention' on Mizuki making Naruto wince and Iruka look on in horror. Naruto dispelled the clones while Iruka knocked out Mizuki once more while Naruto jerked violently.

"Gah! Why the hell did I get their memories? I didn't need those and it wasn't mentioned in the scroll!" Naruto complained about the experience.

Getting the clones' memories sounded useful but he would have to think more on that later and focused on obscuring his and Iruka's memories by talking about celebrating at Ichiraku's ramen stand. While he celebrated about finally graduating the academy and joining the rank of Genin, he reminded himself to apply some brain bleach courtesy of Come Come Paradise later, leaving the task of bringing the scroll and the traitor in the ANBU's hands who finally arrived to the place to at least clean up the mess.

Naruto had a whole new future ahead of him, Mizuki a new trauma to deal with and the Hokage still had to get his favorite book back.

**Author****'****s ****note:** Finally, this was harder to write than expected, it was hard thinking up original material to put into it and in the end there wasn't much but hey, at least he ended up finding out the real truth^^ Please drop a review or Naruto's touchy friends will come find you ;)


End file.
